Can I say dateless? Yes, I, Denise am dateless. How lame is that? So yeah, homecoming at my school is on its way and I have no date to tag along with me. Some of my friends have dates. Not a couple date fling, but just as friends. I gotta admit, that is pretty cute, however, as conceided as I sound, when I’m really not, but what about me? I’m like the only one left in my circle of friends that does not have a date! Geez, I sound desperate.
SAS and CORE topics are firing up this year. I’m apart of SAS, but most of my friends are CORE students. Therefore, I’m a loner in my SAS classes; hooray. I do talk to some SAS students, but I just don’t feel comfortable around them and for some, I just don’t even like them. So the friends that I was refering to about homecoming were my SAS friends… sort of. I’m trying to make some SAS friends, but something just seems to stop me. I think it has to do with that I have a long history with them. I pretty much grew up with my SAS friends since elementary. But after middle school, we all went our separates. I must admit, I’ve changed a lot over the years. Even though I changed, I’m willing to start anew.
Now, on the other hand, CORE friends. They were pretty much my first friends at my school and I immediately clicked with them. However, I’m getting really annoyed by them. They never seem to shut up about their homework assignments and complain for eternity. Also, I beginning to lose connections with them. I don’t hang out with my friends or even talk to them as much now. I feel so lonely and isolated now. My CORE students don’t really treat me as a “friend,” and SAS friends ignore me.
So pretty much, I’m a loner, period. I have nowhere to go, no one to talk to, and I end up on this laptop blogging my feelings off. How great is that? Nothing can get better than this. I’m busy as fuck with my classes and basketball, and on top of that, I do not have any close friends to hang out with at school!
There you have it, I’m finally recognizing that I am afraid. I’m afraid of being along. I’m afraid of not having any sort of comfort around me. I’m a sensitive coward.
Allow me to explain the kind of person I am. To start off, I’ll begin with the words, “Hello, I’m Denise. Nice to meet you.” I’m a very complex person. I enjoy blogging, basketball, and learning new things. My favorite color is rainbow and I listen to practically any kind of music. I have strong opinions on everything, but always seem to hold it back. I talk trash about people and only view their bad points. I don’t show my true feelings out in the public because I’m not someone who craves for attention. I don’t enjoy getting close with people, knowing that I will hurt them in the end. I’m a very contradicting person, and I’m an indeciceive one as well.
You figure out the rest.