☆彡언제나 행복하게

I LIKE YOU, OKAY? Why is that so hard to say in front of some normal, average, plain guy?! Because, in truth, that guy… is not normal. He’s special to me. I don’t know quite exactly why I like him, but just talking to him makes me… happy. He does not speak much, but he surely gets his word out, but does not keep me entertained when we’re having a conversation. He lives far away, which means my only contact with him is only through the internet. He never did anything special for me, but just talked to me. He talked about his dreams, past love, pain, & life. He is beyond my years, but only sees me as a mere child that does not have the wise answers to life. He sees me nothing more than just… an acquaintance.

From talking to him for a few weeks this year, & a few times 3 years ago, I slowly grew to like him. It’s the small things that he does that makes me adore him so much. His fascination of cooking, politeness, and the caring characteristic that he holds are the reasons why I like him. He puts others first than himself, he tends to his friends & is friendly to anyone who enters into his life. Those little things… make me smile. When he messages me and greets me, my face shyly becomes a warm smile. I have liked boys before, but in truth, you are a mere image of my first love.

I despise the fact that when you’re in love, you cannot stop thinking about that one person. You often care about your appearance more, you’re hesitant on what to say to this certain person, you patiently wait for them to come to you first and moreover, you become hurt. His name is shown on my friends list, and I always stare blankly, waiting for him to message me. I quickly become saddened and jump to conclusions with weary thoughts, “Why isn’t he talking to me?” “Is he busy?” “Should I talk to him first. No, I shouldn’t. I don’t want to bother him.”

I’ll be honest, I am sensitive and do become quite jealous when he does not talk to me or comes in contact with any other female being.

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AHHH. that’s my ramble for this month.

i’m sorry that i havent been updating lately. ):

It has been months since I last updated you, blog. I’m so sorry. I have slightly lost my blogging passion and I have been busy many months. But I will give you guys a quick update on what has happened so far the past year.

* Failed AP Biology

* Did not do well in 10th grade

* Got accepted into Leadership

* I’m about to kill myself with 3 AP classes

* I have a job at Kaiser — YAY

* Brother graduated high school — YAY

Moving on, y’know my whole love sick troubles back last summer? Well, they have been somewhat disappeared, but a new interest has appeared in my very own eyes this past month of June. Two boys to be exact; they’re just … crushes, I guess? The first boy is named Andy and the second is Myles. What can I say about them? They’re really cool.

Andy is an asian boy that has been highly influenced by Hip-hop culture. He is definitely sweet and surely knows the keys to a girls heart & knows how to treat a woman right. But the only problem I have with him is that he’s a lasy son-of-a-gun & is way too flirty for my status. If someone wants to get at me, they have to work for it & must be committed. This whole thing all started last week, on a Friday. He and I were in a room, alone — just the two of us. He and I were suppose to work on an Inventory List, but that didn’t turn out so right; I was the only one working. Anywho, he was just sitting next to me, & brought up the question, “So, do you like anybody?” — The most random question EVER.

ME: hm… naww, not right nwo

ANDY: oh really? what about maroof?

ME: oh, he & i are just close friends. though, i don’t talk to him that much anymore.

ANDY: did he go to homecoming with you?

ME: nahh, he was busy, so my friend came instead, she’s in core.

ANDY: ohh, i see.

ME: do you like anybody?
ANDY: who me? yeah, i do.
ME: oh really? WHO!? i wanna know
ANDY: she’s in one your classes, your 4th period
ME: oh really? what’s her name?
ANDY: her name starts with an “A”
*thunk about it for the longest time*
ME: IDK, ahh, it’s alright
ANDY: it’s alma
ME: omg, really?! awww, that’s so sweet.

BLAH BLAH BLAH, he continued on by saying why he likes her & it’s pretty much that he thinks Alma is a simple girl and isn’t gaudy or anything like that. I thought that was kute. He even included that he plans to try to hang out with her as much as possible this summer. The sad part is that he only liked her for 2 months, which I don’t think is a right time to say one is in “love.”

Anywho this is my ramble from the past month, ahaha.