Filed under: Uncategorized
History repeats itself. Here I come, UC Pierce.
Filed under: I have a ... beautiful life
- Become president of Key Club
- Become president of Scholars in Action
- Be active in JSA, WITS, & cooking club
- Work out again & ball more often
- Keep room clean more often
- Join basketball again next year
- Join Leadership, Senior Board & Knights and Ladies
- Run for Student Body President
- Run for K & L President
- Volunteer at Kaiser & West Valley Animal Shelter
- Do homecoming float for SAS & Junior Council
MOST OF ALL, STUDY MY ASS OFF.
YEEEEEEEEEEEP. pretty much a to-do lis.
Filed under: I have a ... beautiful life
I LIKE YOU, OKAY? Why is that so hard to say in front of some normal, average, plain guy?! Because, in truth, that guy… is not normal. He’s special to me. I don’t know quite exactly why I like him, but just talking to him makes me… happy. He does not speak much, but he surely gets his word out, but does not keep me entertained when we’re having a conversation. He lives far away, which means my only contact with him is only through the internet. He never did anything special for me, but just talked to me. He talked about his dreams, past love, pain, & life. He is beyond my years, but only sees me as a mere child that does not have the wise answers to life. He sees me nothing more than just… an acquaintance.
From talking to him for a few weeks this year, & a few times 3 years ago, I slowly grew to like him. It’s the small things that he does that makes me adore him so much. His fascination of cooking, politeness, and the caring characteristic that he holds are the reasons why I like him. He puts others first than himself, he tends to his friends & is friendly to anyone who enters into his life. Those little things… make me smile. When he messages me and greets me, my face shyly becomes a warm smile. I have liked boys before, but in truth, you are a mere image of my first love.
I despise the fact that when you’re in love, you cannot stop thinking about that one person. You often care about your appearance more, you’re hesitant on what to say to this certain person, you patiently wait for them to come to you first and moreover, you become hurt. His name is shown on my friends list, and I always stare blankly, waiting for him to message me. I quickly become saddened and jump to conclusions with weary thoughts, “Why isn’t he talking to me?” “Is he busy?” “Should I talk to him first. No, I shouldn’t. I don’t want to bother him.”
I’ll be honest, I am sensitive and do become quite jealous when he does not talk to me or comes in contact with any other female being.
AHHH. that’s my ramble for this month.
i’m sorry that i havent been updating lately. ):
Filed under: I have a ... beautiful life
It has been months since I last updated you, blog. I’m so sorry. I have slightly lost my blogging passion and I have been busy many months. But I will give you guys a quick update on what has happened so far the past year.
* Failed AP Biology
* Did not do well in 10th grade
* Got accepted into Leadership
* I’m about to kill myself with 3 AP classes
* I have a job at Kaiser — YAY
* Brother graduated high school — YAY
Moving on, y’know my whole love sick troubles back last summer? Well, they have been somewhat disappeared, but a new interest has appeared in my very own eyes this past month of June. Two boys to be exact; they’re just … crushes, I guess? The first boy is named Andy and the second is Myles. What can I say about them? They’re really cool.
Andy is an asian boy that has been highly influenced by Hip-hop culture. He is definitely sweet and surely knows the keys to a girls heart & knows how to treat a woman right. But the only problem I have with him is that he’s a lasy son-of-a-gun & is way too flirty for my status. If someone wants to get at me, they have to work for it & must be committed. This whole thing all started last week, on a Friday. He and I were in a room, alone — just the two of us. He and I were suppose to work on an Inventory List, but that didn’t turn out so right; I was the only one working. Anywho, he was just sitting next to me, & brought up the question, “So, do you like anybody?” — The most random question EVER.
ME: hm… naww, not right nwo
ANDY: oh really? what about maroof?
ME: oh, he & i are just close friends. though, i don’t talk to him that much anymore.
ANDY: did he go to homecoming with you?
ME: nahh, he was busy, so my friend came instead, she’s in core.
ANDY: ohh, i see.
ME: do you like anybody?
ANDY: who me? yeah, i do.
ME: oh really? WHO!? i wanna know
ANDY: she’s in one your classes, your 4th period
ME: oh really? what’s her name?
ANDY: her name starts with an “A”
*thunk about it for the longest time*
ME: IDK, ahh, it’s alright
ANDY: it’s alma
ME: omg, really?! awww, that’s so sweet.
BLAH BLAH BLAH, he continued on by saying why he likes her & it’s pretty much that he thinks Alma is a simple girl and isn’t gaudy or anything like that. I thought that was kute. He even included that he plans to try to hang out with her as much as possible this summer. The sad part is that he only liked her for 2 months, which I don’t think is a right time to say one is in “love.”
Anywho this is my ramble from the past month, ahaha.
So… the second day of finals was on the fourth… 3 days ago… yeah. It actually went pretty well for the most part. Before the second of Finals came, I had my AP Biology and English final, right? Which were also the days where I had no sleep, literally. On top of that I had a basketball game against Birmingham and I couldn’t go home until 6:00pm. I was seriously poop, like, no joke. Once I got hope, I grabbed a bite and began my Finals studying, once again. But what sucked was that once I started started studying, I was immediately knocked out and when to a deep sleep. And when I woke up, it was the next day -0-
I freaked out and jumped out of bed, got ready for school and was studying in the car on my way to school! Sucks, right? I really thought I was screwed. But once the test appeared in my eyes, I had it. I was thinking in my head, “I GOT THIS!” HAHAHA. I have high hopes that I aced it my World History test, hehe(: Afterwards, I had my math final. I think I did pretty alright in it. There were some problems that I didn’t get, but not too many. I finished the ones that I could do and I hope I pass the class. I really wanted a B in my Algebra 2 class, sighhh.
I guess you can consider that as my last day of Finals. Once school was out, I jumped for joy! I felt like the most free-est and happiest person alive! I was done with all my tests. Disappointment was climbed over and I aced my other subjects. The rest of the week was smooth sailing.~~~
TEST TEST TEST
That’s what my mind has been sucking itself in with lately. Today was the first day of Finals, and to be honest, not a great start. I took my AP Biology and English Final today. I hate to say this, but it looks like I’m not gonna pass AP Biology or get that A in my English Class. I literally spent all day yesterday (okay, not really; just 4PM – 7AM) studying my ass off for those classes, but I mainly focused on AP Biology. In the end, it was just a huge waste of trying. I failed the exam and won’t continue my studies. Although, I still want to.
I feel as if my emotions and thoughts to got me to lose my focus and efforts in AP Biology. Right now, my family is in a huge financial crisis and it worries me to the bone about it. I constantly have to think, “Am I using too much electricy?”, “I shouldn’t eat this, it’ll make my mom buy more groceries.”, “I can’t shower today, I’ll waste too much water.”, anything like that. It has also been affecting my parent’s relationship with one another. Everyday, in my household, I would hear non-stop bickering about money, gas, etc.
My brother has also been taking part of my AP Biology failure as well. All my life, I have been living in the shadows of my older brother, Edward. Not once have I had self recognition as being myself. It’s either I’m “Edward’s younger sister” or the “dumb sibling.” Edward himself has always put my down about every aspect of myself, that I basically have no self-respect or any confidence in myself. He took AP Biology as a sophomore too, and passed the class with a B & recieved a 5 on the AP Exam. Can you believe it? I always stress about what he thinks in me, hoping that one day, he doesn’t see me as the “stupid” one. But now this situation is even worse when I know that he’ll use my grade in AP Biology as another reason for him to think I’m hopeless.
With my head caught up too much in my AP Biology final, I didn’t focus too much on my English final. Sad, right? I got 400 points out of 800 points. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. -0- What’s even worse was that during the final, someone’s (Ali) phone vibrated and my English teacher heard it. When she asked whose phone was that, nobody admitted, which kept going on for about hmmm, about 2 hours! My teacher wanted to find out so badly that she even offered $50 and threatened to not give us extra credit points from our final. In the end, nobody said anything….
Tomorrow is my final for World History and Algebra 2
Finals start on Wednesday and I’m screwed. My emotions are going way out of hand and I can’t take it. I can’t take AP Biology, I’m scared for my life on this test and I’m about to break down. 15 Chapters to know by Wednesday?! I can’t do this. I know I can’t. I don’t want to drop the class and nor do I want to fail this test. I just don’t have that focus or that mentality to focus on studying tonight. I don’t understand why, but I’m afraid to study for this subject, but I seem just fine studying for my other classes.
Oh Lord, please help me. I BEG YOU!
I don’t want to fail! T-T